Archive for April, 2009


single motherhood

Af left for Nashville this morning. He’s going to be there for the next three months bringing home a little APX bacon. He’ll be great at the sales thing, and I know he’ll enjoy a change of pace, but I’m going to miss him like a woman possessed. I travel quite a bit, but we’ve never been apart for more than a week or so. Although I know this next chapter will be quite the challenge, I am looking forward to a few things…


1) Appreciating everything my husband does for me.

Af’s the laundry guy, is AMAZING with Zoe, takes car of the car and the garbage, walks the boys twice a day, fetches things from up or downstairs when I’m too lazy to fetch them myself, and is just an all around GREAT catch, but I know there’s more. After over six years of marriage it’s easy to take things for granted so I’m thankful for this opportunity to really examine how much easier he makes my life and living it.


2) Playing supermom.

Because Africa is so great with Zoe I often take a back seat and let him manage the madness. She’s perfect 80% of the time, and I know it sounds weird, but I’m thrilled to take on that not-so-super 20%. Single mothers keep it together every day, day after day, right? Surely I can keep my cool for 12 short weeks!


3) Taking control.

Being married has given me license to let a lot of things slide (gym attendance, budgeting, lipstick application, regular prayer and time with the Good Book, yadda, yadda, yad) and now that I have no one to blame but myself, I’m going to try to get a little better at a few more things that matter.


Pray for me freinds and neighbors. And pray for my favorite Africano.

May his butt remain unbitten and his pockets fill to overflowing.


Tall Drink of Water


float_mark1I’ve been attending the local chapter of the National Speakers Association to hone my presentin’ skillz, and I must say that the organization draws a unique crowd. Last night we heard from local Chad Hymas, who is awesome, but had me participate in a random “exercise” to illustrate a point about our need to give more and take less. Chad’s a paraplegic, and talked about our need to change our habits in order to conquer life’s obstacles. Anyway, he asked me to volunteer in this little project where he had me try to take a drink from a water bottle without using my hands.

And suddenly there I was, barefoot on the floor trying to unscrew the lid from a water bottle with my teeth.

I am not the most limber of people, and was therefore praying the whole time that all those Fiber One bars I’ve been eating since joining Weight Watchers would not cause a major flatulation, and that if said occurrence were to happen, former Utah Jazz basketball great Mark Eaton (who is 7’ 4” and was seated right next to my hunched frame) would not hear it. Luckily, the other dude who was also participating in operation embarrassing as hell soon discovered that the best way to drink from a bottle without hands is to simply ask for help. Some little old Relief Society lady opened his bottle and gave him a drink, then the whole crowd turned to stare at me. And Mark. Who then had to pry my bottle from my stinky flats feet and then give me a sip as well.

Too bad it wasn’t Kobe.


What I’m Reading

cupcake-book-2“I don’t know how she does it!” is an oft-heard refrain about mothers today. Funnily enough, most moms agree they have no idea how they get it done, or whether they even want the job. Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile spoke to mothers of every stripe working, stay-at-home, part-time and found a surprisingly similar trend in their interviews. After enthusing about her lucky life for twenty minutes, a mother would then break down and admit that her child’s first word was “Shrek.” As one mom put it, “Am I happy? The word that describes me best is challenged.” Fresh from the front lines of modern motherhood comes a book that uncovers the guilty secrets of moms today . . . in their own words. I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids diagnoses the craziness and offers real solutions, so that mothers can step out of the madness and learn to love motherhood as much as they love their kids.


Blondes, Boobs, and Beckham’s Balls

That’s right friends… Beckham’s balls in all their photoshopped glory.

 Wow. What a package!


Where, you ask?

Not at the porn shoppe, no.

Thursday afternoon, April 2, 2009, at the ghetto salon where I’m now getting my hair done.

I had to do a video shoot for work last week so I went in for a quick cut and a little color and came out COMPLETELY SOILED. My new hairdresser, Natalie, was clipping away when a blonde with a removable ponytail came waltzing in talking about Organics and a new salon in the avenues. She was a total character from one of the Real Housewives Of series and I was digging her until next thing I know she and Nat have me pinned under the dryer and are forcing me to check out all the nudies on Nat’s laptop. She showed me a full body of Beckham and several close-ups of his member, followed by a heart-shaped, pink-dyed Julie she did for one her clients at Valentines. (Only $40!) Needless to say I was STUNNED and sat there like a complete dork trying to figure out if I should laugh, cry, or run screaming from the building.

My friend Tony says she was trying to hit on me. Strange love indeed.


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